"Absence Does Not Make the Heart Grow Stronger...

Absence makes the heart go wander." (Thanks to a member of my class, this quote begins my topic for today.)

Don't you want this?! I know you do. 

We talked a great deal about infidelity in marriage. Stay tuned, even if you think this topic does not apply to you, because chances are, in some form or another, this can apply to you more than you think. Keep reading, you might just learn something new.

Something I learned that, that I was in complete ignorance of before, refers to different types of infidelity. Did you know there were different types? The biggest one I wish to focus on today, is emotional infidelity. How on earth is that different than regular fidelity anyway? Well, emotional infidelity can also be referred to as a fantasy affair.

This is "characterized by having an emotional affair with someone who has no knowledge of what is taking place, or with someone who is anonymous and would likely never be met. Examples can include flirting online or otherwise fantasizing romantically about someone other than your spouse" (Affair Prevention, Gardner & Greiner).

There is no excuse for infidelity, emotional, physical, attached or detached,  In the heart of every Latter-Day Saint, and I hope within every heart of a married person who isn't a member, we are told to be "fiercely loyal" (Jeffrey R. Holland) to our spouse, cleaving unto them and none else. (Genesis 2:24). What does it mean to be fierce? That is a pretty strong word, isn't it? Being fierce means to be "furiously eager, or intense." (Dictionary.com) That is only one definition of the word. I thought it fit perfectly with how you should be fiercely loyal to your spouse. If you are fiercely loyal, you do not look at others and imagine having any sort of relationship relative to marriage, emotionally or physically.



If you are at fault of thinking thoughts of any sort of relation with the opposite sex that is not honorable, or that you would otherwise wish to hide from your spouse, then you are at risk of committing emotional infidelity. In Affair Prevention, the article by Gardner and Geiner, they emphasize that "When we let our thoughts unfaithfully imagine what life would be like without another person, infidelity has been committed." How scary is that! We only think of the actual ACT of being detrimental. We never think of our thoughts and how that affects the soul, and overall well-being of marriage. That is dangerous territory!

Most of the time it is the thought that leads to the action. An important thing to determine when talking about this with your spouse (which I recommend before you even get married) is discussing the boundaries you will keep with friends and members of the opposite sex. Creating clear cut boundaries sets the stage for how it will be, and how the trust will be maintained in your relationship. This is often something you wouldn't really think about. And to be quite honest, sometimes I would guess that we assume our spouse just understands who our friends are, and won't mind if we spend time alone with them. Uh-uh! That isn't the church. Provide clarity and good communication. It will make all of the difference, I promise!

Again, I do not profess to be a genius in this field of fidelity in marriage. Don't be hatin'! I'm learning these things now, so I have a great foundation for talking about them with my future spouse, as well as understanding when I could be in danger of infidelity (the emotional kind, of course). Hopefully I am preaching to the choir for those who read long enough to make it to the end of my posts (ha!), but for some of us, we could be at danger of emotional infidelity. My only advice I can give you, and the only advice I am at liberty to provide come from the inspired words of Dieter F. Uchtdorf, a member of the Quorom of Twelve of Apostles. He says, "STOP IT!"

Need I say more?

Maybe just an AAAAAAAAAAAAMEN!!!!!!!!

This song just about sums up how you should be, in some form of a nut shell. :) Key word: FAITHFUL!