Cinderella and the Glass Slipper Syndrome

Everybody is in constant awe over what attracts us to the opposite gender, what sets us apart, and how we come to choose the person who is right for us. I read an inspired article that address some of these common wonderings. The article is called, "Hanging out, hooking up, and celestial marriage."

Go read it. It's such a fun read! And very eye opening! And it makes total sense. Yup. Just read it.

My favorite principle he talked about in this article was the Cinderella and the Glass Slipper Syndrome. This syndrome refers to the fact that things will always be hunky dory after you are married. Your troubles will completely disappear, and life will be about sunshine, lollipops, and rainbows. There is no unhappiness after marriage. It is blissful. It is perfect. I will find my prince charming and we will seriously life happily ever after. That's how it works, right?

Hate to break it to you, angel, but that ain't the truth. Marriage can be blissful, sunshine, and lollipops, a great majority of the time, but those who suffer from the Glass Slipper Syndrome may find themselves living with higher expectations to their already happy marriage, and come to think that something is wrong with their spouse, or marriage in general when they don't receive that happily ever after we all know we secretly want. (Come on now, you know you want it just like everybody else.)

One important part I think that keeps getting emphasized, and the thing that people readily forget, is that there isn't just ONE person out there for you. Goodness, that would sure make things difficult, wouldn't it? In the article it said, "It's about finding A right one, not finding THE one." That makes so much more sense that having only one person out there for you. Good heavens, that would stress me out! There are more people suited for us than we may realize. As he said in the article, "There are actually many whose foot will fit nicely within the glass slipper."

Another side effect of this Glass Slipper Syndrome is that perfection will automatically happen after you get married. Marriage isn't perfect. If marriage were perfect, there would be no divorces, no marital problems, no affairs, and who knows what else we could add to that list! A good marriage and family life is not found, it is crafted. The key is being aware that things will never be perfect. They can be wonderful, beautiful, and happy, but not perfect. Having an awareness can help us make realistic goals about what our marriage will be like. I certainly know that in my little heart of hearts I would love to have a blissful marriage of perfection with my prince charming and all that jazz, but I know that it just won't happen. As long as I come to grips with that, I think I will be okay.

Living happily ever after is something you don't find, you work towards. Just like a marriage is something you work at. I know that most people are probably reading this and thinking, "Who in the world is she to talk? She doesn't have a husband. She isn't married. She has no idea what marriage is really like!!" And you know what, you are dead on, but I have an optimistic view of marriage because of these principles. I know you think that isn't saying much, but when it all comes down to it, I DO know about marriage. I may not have a marriage, but I'm building upon it through these principles I'm learning. And I have great examples of successful marriages that I can follow. Never underestimate the power of observance. So, take that America! :)

Living happily ever after is attainable, but the context in which we give it so much credit is very misleading. Don't think I am saying it cannot happen, because it can. But don't get it mixed up with perfection and an unrealistic happily ever after. There will always be problems, but you gotta learn to work through them to attain your happily ever after. Moral of the story:

Don't fall for the Cinderella and Glass Slipper Syndrome!

Just a quick side note: Avery important anti-divorce tip he gave, goes back to you temple goers. He said that the best anti-divorce guarantee is being worthy, and using your temple recommend. I loved that! When our lives are aligned with what God desires of us, every other aspect may not be perfect, but it will sure as heck be ten times better than if we aren't doing what the Lord asks. ***

(What kind of happily ever after are you going to make for yourself?)