Just Another Day

I usually average about a couple breakdown sessions every school semester. For various reasons they may range from feeling overwhelmed, frustrated, and hopeless to..... different levels of feeling overwhelmed, frustrated, and hopeless. Sorry to report that it has only been the 4th day into a new semester and I have had my first one.

I'm not really even sure why I feel the way I do. Funny that I should post a poem written by yours truly about enduring to the end, and today I threw all of that to the wind and just wept like a disturbed child. The reasons for this random crying session are hard to explain. I honestly cannot tell you all of the reasons behind it. I am like any normal woman who just cries whenever a certain emotion goes on overdrive. I wish I could say that crying is cleansing and replenishing, but I have come to realize through personal experience that it makes you feel just about as bad as you did before, if not worse.

Something that always bothers me about the world, is how eager we are to please other people, so we hide how we truly feel. If I allowed the world to see half of the things that I think or feel, I would probably be seen as crazy. Today at work I would have cried in front of all of my co-workers, blubbered in front of fellow students, and drawn way too much attention to myself. The dumb thing about crying is that you can't hide it. If you are crying, everyone knows. They can either hear you crying or see you crying. Just a side note: nobody has a pretty cry. When people refer to the "ugly cry", that sums up crying in general. I don't care what anybody else says. Crying is not a pretty thing.

Apart from me totally feeling like I will regret this post, it is nice just to vent about... well.... nothing.... because you don't even know why I was so upset today. Oh well. You don't need to know. It wouldn't make any sense to anyone anyway. Isn't that how it usually goes? When you are upset about something it is honestly something only YOU could be upset about. I guess the only thing to take away from this post is that life stinks sometimes, but you just gotta keep on keeping on. Sometimes I just want to call it quits and do nothing, but life doesn't let you. So..... as the old saying goes, "Such is life. Build a bridge and get over it."

Tomorrow will hopefully be better. I will continue in my routine, sleep, wake up, eat, work, homework, read, homework, read, sleep, homework, read, test, homework, read, eat, sleep, wake up, and so on. Happy trails to you today, if happy trails they may be. Hope your day has been better than mine.