My Family Relations class was all about theories, and how theories predict what families will do, how they will act, and how those theories affect the boundaries that are maintained between people within that family unit. I wish to discuss the theory that best describes my family. Of course this theory is used to describe many families, but I will attempt to explain why I think this one applies particularly to the Moore Clan. Bear with me here...
Family System's Theory is a theory that states a group must be analyzed as a whole. A group has boundaries that distinguish it from other groups. Different parts influence each other and no part is independent.
If you know my family, you will know that we all love each other despite our differences, we are all completely different in personality, but together we create a well-balanced unit. Each sibling is so different. Sometimes I don't know how my parents did so well at raising us to get a long. Of course we have had our tiny sibling rivalries, but for the most part we all enjoy each other's company and didn't really argue. I love that so much.
Family System's theory is based on several different principles. Each family has different boundaries, unspoken rules, particular roles take on by different people within that family, and homeostatic influences. What do I mean by homeostasis? Homeostasis is a term meaning that systems tend to stay the same, but when change occurs there is always something that brings it back to normal. This explains my family in a T. We are very much routine in our traditions, our rules, our roles, and our boundaries. We don't really like to stray from our state of homeostasis. We are comfortable in the rules we have set, and we don't really want to take on different ways of doing things.
One important boundary that I would like to mention is the one between my Mom and I. I would easily say that she is my best friend. I had always had this mindset until my teacher told us something that will stick with me forever. He said, "You can get best friends anywhere, but you only get a Mom and Dad in one place."
Isn't that so profound! Instead of saying my Mom is my best friend, I just proceed to say that she is my favorite person ever. The relationship we share is so unique. I know I can open to her about anything. She has always been my number one ever since I was younger. If I don't have Mom around, I feel unstable in my environment and I feel like I can't do very much. I am reliant on her spirit and wisdom to help me through so much. I do not mean to say that she does everything for me, because that is the quite opposite. Even though I need her in my life, she helps me be an individual.
Within our Family system, each member, each sibling, each parent makes up a significant part that keeps things running and keeps things fucntioning. Whether that means functioning well, or functioning not well, we still function. Family theories are so intriguing and they require you to see different situations through different perceptions and lenses. It helps me appreciate my family so much more. Even though we aren't perfect, we do our best to keep a close knit unit.
Holla at your amazing families! :)
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