Right vs Want

I think the hardest things to do sometimes are those things that you really don't want to do, but that you know are right.

It's one of the those times where your heart and your head are not fully agreeing. Sometimes they agree and other times they are swayed by something that the other cannot control. You try and explain it to people and it only comes out as jumbled words and complete nonsense. Even YOU cannot fully understand it. 

One of the things I've been thinking about lately is how memories are the one thing that help you remember the good times, but one of the suckiest ways to make things harder when you know there is something you need to let go. Because we are human, we all make mistakes and do things we aren't proud of, but the memory is what makes it solidified in our brain. No matter how crazy others may act or what bizarre things they do because of their feelings, it can be so easy to override that and think that ignoring those things will make all the bad stuff go away. As humans we are forever hopeful that it works out like we want, but it never does. You cannot ignore those red flags. As much as I wish I could, I know in the long run I have to pay more attention to the red flags than anything else. 

You would think that because you know something is right, you wouldn't have hard days. Because you know it is right, there is no reason to question or to be sad or to wonder what would happen if things went in a different direction, right? When things like that happen, they don't tell you all the repercussions you have to learn to deal with. They never do! And why should they? Every person is different. 

Even though you know something is right, doesn't mean that it won't be hard. 

No amount of over thinking is going to make it better. And as a fellow "over-thinker" you would think I could get it through my head and just deal with the decision I made. It's never that simple. Probably because I make it more complicated than is needful, but doesn't everybody do that sometimes? I would like to think that I am preaching to choir on this one, but with how bizarre my thinking is sometimes, I could be just extremely and pathetically unique. 

Doing what is right versus doing what you want really takes a toll on how you act. Sometimes I don't want to do what I know is right. The decision that hovers between doing what is right and doing what you want should seem like one and the same. It's strange how things don't turn out like you expected them too.

It's easy to put on a happy face and laugh off the hardships that secretly eat at you day in and day out. You never know when you will be reminded of that decision to do the right thing, and how stupid or awful that may make you feel the next moment. Not to say that doing what is right makes you feel awful or stupid, but sometimes when you think you want something else, it makes it that much harder to accept. 

Does any of that make sense? 

Those are a few things I've been thinking about. As cryptic as this post has been, I hope you can at least understand where I'm coming from. Doing what is right is often times what we NEED, but it's the actual doing it part that isn't always exactly what we WANT. I often times use wants and needs interchangeably. They are not the same. 

Life is long and then you die. Basically is what it boils down to. Ha!